This week, I have spent a ton of time on social media. Maybe it's because I didn't have too much homework this week, or maybe it was because I am extremely good at wasting time and staying up later than I should. Anyway, I've been spending extra time on Instagram lately and it hasn't been very good for me.
I just got married about five and a half months ago, so I am still adjusting to married life and I'm still working on becoming the "perfect wife". I catch myself feeling like I am not a good enough wife all the time because the house isn't perfectly clean and because my husband is a better cook than I am. Since I'm already pretty good at putting myself down when it comes to failing at my wifely duties, Instagram takes it to a whole new level. For some odd reason, I have this strange addiction with following "perfect" women on Instagram because I feel like it will give me inspiration to be better. While I think this can be helpful to some people, I have found that it makes me feel so much worse about myself. I will spend a couple of hours in a day going through these "perfect" women's pictures of their perfectly clean and decorated homes, their delicious and perfect homemade baked goodies, their perfectly dressed children, and their perfect bodies... AFTER giving birth to a couple of kids. When I compare my life to theirs, I feel awful. I just sit there in my room wishing I could be them. And this is an AWFUL way to think. No one is perfect! We all just want everyone else to think we're perfect!
I think media is great for communicating and for spreading good news around, but when you focus on everyone's "perfect" moments on Instagram (compared to all of your not-so-perfect moments in your everyday life), it's easy to get down on yourself. However, these "perfect" people have problems too! I'm sure these women weren't all professional chefs before they got married and I'm sure their houses are not always 100% clean at any given second. They just do not share these moments on social media because that's not what we do as a society. However, it's really hard to remember this while scrolling through your news feed. I am not saying these "perfect" people or their perfect posts are bad. I think they are great inspirations for me to become better. I just think it's bad if we obsess over them, like I catching myself doing sometimes.
My goal from now on is to enjoy social media, be happy for these seemingly "perfect" people, remember no one is perfect, and work on bettering myself without comparing myself. Also, I should really cut down on my Instagram use. I could even stop following some of these so-called "perfect" people so I don't think about it too much. There are lots of options!
Here's to hoping I take some of my own advice so I can be better AND happier!
And here's to burning cookies and not vacuuming for a week! Living imperfectly ROCKS.
xo
PM
My sister is one of those "Perfect Bloggers," and although I love her deeply ... her real life is very different than the one she choses to portray to her followers. In reality, we're all in the same boat. Everyone is working to become better people and even those beautiful, domestic, fashionistas we see on Instagram have their own issues. If viewed with the right eyes, those blogs can be really useful and inspiring ... but if we let ourselves become overwhelmed with comparisons, we are only placing ourselves on a path for inevitable failure.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your thoughts though! We're all in this together.
kyliercm.wordpress.com
I enjoyed reading your blog. I think we've all been there, girls and guys alike. It's easy to see Instagram as a portrayal of someone's life but it couldn't be further than the truth. Instagram is what we choose to show to others. Anyone can make their life look amazing/productive/artsy/beautiful/etc. If I were you I would unfollow the perfect bloggers and only spend time looking at updates from your family and friends. I think you'd be a lot happier, and you probably wouldn't miss out on too much. I know I need to take this advice as well!
ReplyDeleteFirst off I just realized that you are Paige Peterson! We are friends on Facebook. I am married to Tara (formerly) Bauer. Are we in the same class?!? Anyway, I enjoyed reading your blog post. Tara and I have discussed this before. There are some people she follows on facebook/instagram/etc that I know only as "Perfect Girl." I couldn't tell you her real name but I know how many kids she has, where she is living, what she is doing, etc because it is all seemingly perfect. I think it is important to realize that our definition of perfection is different than the true definition of perfection. Getting married in the temple, honoring our marital vows with fidelity, and creating a family within the bonds of marriage are true perfection. I think we are usually closer to perfection than we think we are.
ReplyDeleteI wrote about the same thing!! I have the same problem you do - except I had a baby 7 months ago, so when I look at this super fit, gorgeous mommy bloggers I feel so bad that I still have some baby weight sticking around. I feel ya sister, media can be addictive and destructive.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with what you wrote. I have noticed that for me it can become difficult to not be hard on myself and to not compare myself with others when I use social media. It's hard to find the balance of wanting to stay connected to friends from high school or from when you were growing up and not have it affect the way you think about yourself. I know it something that I need to continually remind myself. I think we just need to remind ourselves that we are who we are for a reason and that Heavenly Father loves us for the person we are now.
ReplyDeleteThis is so true. Perfect Instagrammers make me feel horrible about myself. I guess I can control how I feel and choose to not let it affect me, but it is super difficult not to compare myself to them. I feel like everyone has a perfect life, and I am sitting over here asking myself, "What am I doing wrong?" Thanks for sharing your feelings and recognizing that Instagram should not control our lives!
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